Life in August

Egad, folks. Has it been that long? I doubt anyone still reads this blog, but I think it could be therapeutic to post again. So, I sit here faced with turning 31 in a couple of weeks. The same age my father was when he died. You know, when you're, like, 8, 31 seems really old. Now that I am here and I see my friends with small children approximately the same age I was when he died, it hits me to the core. I've never been of the mindset that I would die at 31. I just... I just never realized that at some point in my life I would get to be older than he ever got to be. And to be honest, that reality just hit me as I was typing this. Jesus Christ. I am soon going to be older than my father was when he died. I don't know if I can really fathom this concept. How is that fair, oh illustrious "god?" How is it fair that a man dies in his prime, leaving a very young widow with two very young kids who eventually grow to surpass him in age and accomplishments? Life moves in mysterious ways, for sure. Stupid, asinine ways. 31. Fucking hell. I'm going to be 31.

Ketchup

I just realized it's been a while since I've posted. Sometimes life just zooms past you too fast!

The summer time has sprung off nicely this year. Jake and I have completed our landscaping (for now, anyway)and have just been doing maintenance (mowing) on the outside. I'm quite happy with my little yard! I should have some deck planters coming soon (today maybe?) in which I will plant herbs. The deck is just outside the kitchen, so that'll be real nice for cooking time. I ordered this planter, but in white to match the rail:

I want to start painting the inside this weekend. My first project will be the "nursery" upstairs. It's going to take a while because we have to prime the wood panel and then add two coats of paint. I think we're going to go with a sky blue on the walls and ceiling. That way when it comes time to paint a woodland mural on the walls we'll have a nice background! Then, once that room is done, we'll move our bedroom furniture into there and paint our room.

And now for something completely different:



The summer parties have kicked off too! We had our family installment of our housewarming parties May 17. That went really well. We did a potluck and a lot of Jake's family showed up. My parents and Jane and Arthur were there as well. It turned out to be a nice day weather-wise, so a lot of the party was outside. The kids enjoyed going to the park down the street.

Heather and Evan had their joint b-day party this past weekend. They did a tea party (drinking, not tossing)with finger foods. There were so many people there! We eventually moved the party outside for an impromptu game of Frisbee.

This coming weekend is Missy's graduation party. She also just got a job at Bridgewater! I'm excited. I'm sure I'll have more to report after that.

So, I'm just trying to keep my head up and focus on all these positives to try to offset the start of my summer mourning period.



Until then, I leave you with this:

Spot

I'm in a good spot in my life right now. I have a great job that pays well, and seems pretty stable. I have a great husband who loves me. I have two cats that are generally healthy and loved. I have a very strong support network with tons of friends from all walks of my life. I am about to buy my first home.

The Connections Radio project is going really well, and it's forcing me to face my fears of the paranormal. I definitely need this kick in the ass to open myself up. I've been more tuned in at the end of each show than I've ever been. I've done some very accurate readings for almost strangers!

The roller derby season is just about to start up for this year. I am hoping, beyond all hopes, that I can make the 2 Derby Dames games that are before NHRD's first game. I am PETRIFIED of being an announcer. But, I think that once I sit through at least one game before hand, I should be OK. I know I'll do fine, but I have this crazy stage fright thing going on now. But, I've got my persona pretty well worked out in my head. I just have to finalize a name decision. And, of course, get approval from the league to use it. If I can't be a skater (which literally hurts me... it kills me), at least I can be a part of it to the best of my ability! So, I'll actually be a part of a sports team!

Happy Festivus!

The story of that first Festivus is a simple one. Many December 23rd's ago, a great man named Frank Costanza went to buy a doll for his son. He reached for the last one, but so did another man. As Frank rained blows upon him, he thought there had to be another way. The doll was destroyed, but out of that, a new holiday was born. It was called Festivus. No, not feminist, Festivus. A Festivus for the rest of us. Festivus, as Frank explained it, is a celebration like no other, composed of do-it-yourself ceremonies based on the principle that "father knows best".
On December 23rd, families and friends get together and gather around the traditional Festivus pole. No, it isn't a tree. It's a pole, no decorations. Tinsel, you see, is very distracting. Oh, and it must have a very high strength-to-weight ratio. The celebration then moves to the dinner table for the Airing of Grievances. This is when you share with families and friends all the ways they have disappointed us over the last year. That often lasts far into the night. Finally, there is the Feats of Strength, where the head of the household tests his or her strength with another family member or friend. Festivus is not over until the head of the family is pinned. You are allowed to decline only if you have something to do instead.

Happy Yule/Solstice!

The Winter Solstice, sometimes referred to as Yule, celebrates the rebirth of the sun to the earth, and the solstice itself is the longest (hence, darkest) night of the year. Throughout the world, from Scotland to Iran to the Americas, ancient and modern peoples have called forth the sun on the longest night of the year.You may have noticed that the solstice falls near the Christian holiday of Christmas, and that the word Yule is usually associated with that same holiday. Upon closer inspection, you will find many remnants of the pagan holiday within the current Christian celebrations. For example, the Christmas tree that is erected in many homes is a nod to the original pagan celebration of creating a Yule tree. The sturdy, evergreen tree represents life surviving in the darkest time of the year. The Yule tree was decorated with natural ornaments such as berries, rosebuds, and cinnamon sticks. Candles adorned the tree, representing the light of the sun, soon to be reborn. In many traditions, a Yule log is burned throughout the solstice night to provide a light in the darkest night, symbolizing hope and a belief that the sun will return. Yule is a time of celebration and rebirth, as the light of the God once again is reborn and shines within our lives. The winter solstice is also the time when the Goddess, in her aspect as Crone, is reborn as the Maiden. Rites to celebrate the return of the sun and the respective rebirths of the God and Goddess are appropriate, as are rituals to guide your spiritual path and honor the lessons learned within the dark time.

Happy Channukah!

Long ago in the land of Judea there was a Syrian king, Antiochus. The king ordered the Jewish people to reject their G-d, their religion, their customs and their beliefs and to worship the Greek gods. There were some who did as they were told, but many refused. One who refused was Judah Maccabee.Judah and his four brothers formed an army and chose as their name the word "Maccabee", which means hammer. After three years of fighting, the Maccabees were finally successful in driving the Syrians out of Israel and reclaimed the Temple in Jerusalem. The Maccabees wanted to clean the building and to remove the hated Greek symbols and statues. On the 25th day of the month of Kislev, the job was finished and the temple was rededicated.
When Judah and his followers finished cleaning the temple, they wanted to light the eternal light, known as the N'er Tamid, which is present in every Jewish house of worship. Once lit, the oil lamp should never be extinguished.
Only a tiny jug of oil was found with only enough for a single day. The oil lamp was filled and lit. Then a miracle occurred as the tiny amount of oil stayed lit not for one day, but for eight days.
Jews celebrate Chanukah to mark the victory over the Syrians and the rededication of the Jerusalem Temple. The Festival of the Lights, Chanukah, lasts for eight days to commemorate the miracle of the oil. The word Chanukah means "rededication".
In America, families celebrate Chanukah at home. They give and receive gifts, decorate the house, entertain friends and family, eat special foods, and light the holiday menorah.

Ice Storm 2008

We have now been without power in our aparment for 4 days. Our cats have made it through thus far, but it was in the low 30's this weekend in the apartment. Jake and I were living like nomads this weekend.

Thursday night Jake was out all night sanding streets and moving trees while I was snug in my bed. He worked all night.

I woke up Friday morning to discover we had no power. Not thinking it a big deal, I headed out to work. Leah called me as I was one exit away saying the power was out but our boss was at work. So, I figured I'd make an appearance. We were sent home, of course.

Jake and I decided to try to tough it out Friday night. Well, at 2:00 am I woke up vomiting and such. I picked up the phone book and called every hotel in the area, finally finding one with openings. I was not about to be throwing up sick in a 45 degree house.

We booked the room for two days, but saturday night I headed to Heather and Evan's so Jake could have the hotel bed to himself. At that point he hadn't slept since Wednesday night. I had a good time with them and Rhea, but living like a nomad ain't easy.

Last night we slept at Jake's parent's place. This is getting ridiculous. I want my bed and I want my cats to not be freezing. I hope we get power soon or I'm going to break something.

New and Improved

So...... as of Friday, November 28 2008 I am Sandra Marie Picard Stevens!

It took a month or so, but I had to wait until I could make it to the SS office and do it in person! Now I just have to change everything to follow suite!

House

Well Jake and I have been preapproved for a mortgage! Woot! We're going to start looking for our first home! I am SO freaking excited, but wicked scared! It's a huge responsibility. But, OMG, the thought of owning our own home is making me drool! Then we can have babies! oops, did that slip out? LOL

It's all coming together now! *arches fingers like Mr. Burns* yessss.....excellent.....

Birthday Reflections

Let's see.... there are 365 days until I turn 30. Jesus....30. I never thought I'd see that day! It's amazing to think that I've lived for this long.

Remember when 10 years seem like such a long time? Like when we graduated from high school and the thought of a 10 year reunion was so far-fetched? (not that I'd ever go, and didn't). But still. Now 10 years seems like nothing. Let's see, where was I in life 10 years ago, August 17, 1998?

I had just spent a year (well, almost) at UMD. It was a very hard time for me, but I managed to find a group of incredibly amazing friends, most of whom I have to this day. I remember I had a birthday party that year. I was living back home in Chelms-hell with my parents. It was a weird party because my 20cent friends were there, along with Valerie (who didn't know any of them at the time), Leah, and Taryn! We managed to have a really good time. Vorg was there too. I remember he ended up staying over that night. He slept in the guest bedroom, but tried to sneak into mine early in the morning. Alli, our dog, had other plans! She woke up when he did and barked to get the rest of us up! LOL Poor boy. What am I talking about... poor me too! LOL
I was working at the Westford Regency, I believe. I had real short hair still, and fake nails. I was still really depressed, but was starting to work towards getting better. I did register for MCC that coming fall. That was my saving grace. It really was. It gave me a sense of purpose, and the self esteem to actually succeed academically for the first time in my life.

There's me, getting all sentimental! This year, on my birthday, I feel like I'm in another transition. I'm in a job that I am very unsatisfied with. I wanted to start teaching this year, but no one has even called me for an interview. I feel stuck. I'm not making enough money to pay the bills, I'm not at all intellectually challenged, and I don't get any respect.

But, I am getting married in 55 days! Yikes! I'm going to be a Mrs! I have decided to keep my name, but add Jake's at the end. Meaning, Sandra Marie Picard Stevens. I feel good about that. Now I don't have to give up the Picard, which I feel is a little piece of my birth father I've kept with me. And that's not a knock towards my life father. I love him, but he's able to be an active part of my life where my birth father can't. I hope I've honored my life father with all I've done (though I don't think he sees it that way).

Anyway, it's late and I'm jabbering. I'll probably edit this tomorrow!

Cheers and thanks for all the birthday wishes everyone!

You heard them....

Karma?

Remember last year when we had those insane neighbors next door? The woman my age who had 5 kids, each with a different man? Her sons used to run around and hit things with huge sticks and spray painted out house? Her name is Jennifer Dorval...see her quality personality for yourself! I can only hope that those boys get separated into different foster homes and finally get the love and discipline that they needs..


Published: Saturday, August 9, 2008
8 arrested on drug charges
By ANDREW WOLFE Staff Writer awolfe@nashuatelegraph.com
NASHUA – Police arrested eight people around the city on drug dealing charges Thursday, detectives announced Friday."They are independent of one another, street-level traffickers," said Detective Sgt. Frank Sullivan.The charges against the defendants all are based on recent purchases by either undercover detectives or informants, at various different homes and other locations around the city, Sullivan said. Some transactions were more recent than others, but police waited to round up the suspects all at once Thursday so as not to tip anyone off that an investigation was afoot, Sullivan said.While some of the defendants are accused of selling cocaine or heroin, others are charged with selling illicit prescription drugs, including the painkiller Oxycontin and the sedative Clonazepam, an anti-anxiety drug.Drug overdoses have eclipsed car crashes as the leading killer of New Hampshire residents in recent years, and prescription drugs account for most drug deaths, the state Medical Examiner's office has reported.Two of the eight persons arrested, Mario Lopez, 31, of 4A Hobbs Ave., and Lawrence Nelson, 23, of 19 Buck St., were working together, Sullivan said. Lopez is charged with selling both cocaine and heroin, while Nelson faces a single count of selling cocaine.Lopez has been convicted of selling drugs before, police reported, so the charges against him are class A felonies, punishable by up to 7-1/2 to 15 years in prison. Selling a small amount of cocaine or heroin otherwise carries a maximum of 3-1/2 to seven years.Also arrested Thursday were:Gilberto Alvarez, 65, of 40 Ash St. No. 1, faces five counts of selling cocaine.Andrea Lozupone, 25, of 96 Conant Road, is charged with selling Oxycontin, second offense.Katie Dube, 23, of 16 Central St., is charged with two counts of selling cocaine, and one sale of crack cocaine.Grace Ledgister, 49, of 20 Hanover St., is charged with selling morphine and Clonazepam, second offense, and Dana Hastings, 21, of 9 Ferryalls Court, and Jennifer Dorval, 28, of 94 Chandler St., Apt. C, are each charged with selling Clonazepam.All eight defendants were arrested without unusual drama, held overnight and arraigned Friday in Nashua District Court, police reported.Police urge that anyone who has any information or suspicions about illegal drug dealing should contact them either through the Narcotics Tip Line at 594-3597, or the Department's main number, 594-3500 or Web site, http://www.nashuapd.com/.

Welcome Rhea Ann Jacob

So Heather had her beautiful baby girl yesterday morning (8/1/08) around 5:00! If I'm getting this correct, 7lbs 1oz, 20 inches. She looks so much like Evan, but also has some of mommy's features too!

Yea, she went into labor 45 minutes after I wrote that blog about trying to get the baby to come out! LOL

I went to visit the happy family after work today...wait, yesterday (It's 1am and I haven't been to bed yet....)

Anyway, all are doing well and happy. They have Rhea (so used to calling her Bean) on antibiotics as a precaution against possible infection. Other than that though, everyone is healthy and safe. Heather is doing very well for someone who just gave birth!

I am just so amazed at the whole thing. Just looking down at Rhea, the enormity of the situation hit me like a truck! This is their child- forever! They are now bound to this one person for the rest of their lives! Responsible for all of her needs and care. It's just an amazing and frightening perspective. I mean, my body was going: "I WANT ONE NOW!" and my brain was going "YIKES!"

It's also so strange that Thursday night I was feeling the baby kicking around inside Heather, and now here she is! In the flesh! I tell you, I am truly honored to be able to be around them in this awesome time in their lives. I am such a proud auntie, it's ridiculous! Just wait until I make some decent dough, that kid is going to be showered with stuff! Mostly love, but also stuff! LOL

Go little Leo goddess Rhea Ann... go heartily and strong into this world and be the best person you can be. You are blessed and loved.... OK... now I'm crying. I think it's time for bed!

Baby Bean

So I hung out with Heather and Evan tonight. Poor Heather! She started the motions on Tuesday, but was sent home since she hasn't gone more than 3 centemeters. :-( I know it will come in time, but she is ready for baby to come out!

We went to the chiropractor and he adjusted her and put baby in a better spot; more inline with the pelvic area. Evan and I did some energy work with her, so we're hoping all of that will help inspire baby bean to come out and play!

I am dying to meet this kid! I know we all are, Heather and Evan most of all!

COME OUT BABY BEAN! I know it's nice and warm and cozy in there, but the world is waiting for you! :-)

Wedding Stuff

I am so upset right now. It's three months before the wedding and now the Granite Rose is telling me that we can't do things that were "no problem" when we originally sat down.

The most upsetting is that now Valerie can't make our cake. We chose a package with the cake included, but were told that if we weren't doing the cake that we could subtitute it with something esle. We're paying the money regardless. Now we're being told that if we bring in an outside cake we still have to pay the money, but get nothing in return! Apparently, it's in the contract. So now I had to crush Valerie and tell her that she can't make my wedding cake. I know it really upset her. I'm upset too! I mean, a cake from her would be so beautiful and so meaningful. Who else would put so much heart into making something like that for us? I know there will be other occasions and other cakes, but this really sucks. :-(

There were other little things as well, but I'm not going to go into details because it's arduous and pointless. Needless to say, I'm crushed and entirely disenheartened by the venue. I was so happy with them so far because they really made us feel like they cared about making our day special. They were the only place that didn't treat us like this was just another wedding; just another day in the biz. Now that the wedding is just three months away, I'm getting a totally different vibe. I know we're not their only customers. I know we're just another wedding, but it still sucks that all of a sudden we're being treated this way.

I priced mead from the NH liquor store because I wanted to have a bottle on each table. It would cost me $12/bottle if I bought it straight. If we get it through the Granite Rose it will cost $39/bottle! They wouldn't even be serving it! It was just going to be on the tables!

I'm anxious to see how much the hot spiced cider will cost.

Well, I guess I shouldn't complain. I mean, I WAS looking for all these special customizations. I guess I should just go with what comes with the package and enjoy the meaning of the day. That's it folks, I have just decided not to get bogged down with details! The important thing is that Jake and I get married in front of our family and friends. The rest is moot. Zen bride take over!

I will not let it shadow my life...

So today is the 27th anniversary of my father's death. 27 years, I can't believe it. It's amazing how something that happened so long ago can still have a stronghold on your life.

However, I have decided not to let it bother me this year. This year I am going to get through the whole day without crying. In fact, it didn't even dawn on me what day it was until I checked my email and saw the anniversary reminder from my mom (yea, way morbid mom). I just sat there looking at it, waiting for the tears to well. And they didn't!

I think that this year it's different because now I have so many positive things to focus on. For instance, Colleen's wedding is tomorrow. That's a huge positive spin on a bad day! And, Judi (Jake's mom) has be birthday today.

Having Jake in my life has also helped me deal with things I never thought I'd be able to deal with. I don't need to focus on so many fears because I know I have someone here to stand by me at all times. I can break free from the grips of harmful relationships because I have a steady support system at home. I can get through life without mourning everyone all of the time because I have someone to focus that energy on.

I am a really, really lucky person to have found him. I truly never thought I would meet the person who would complete my life. I used to cry....often, actually. I'd cry about being lonely, being poor, losing so many people to death... and now, well, I hardly cry at all!

Cat sitting from Hell!

Have you ever had a day where just every little thing goes wrong, to the point where you just starting laughing so as to not fall into an angry rage? Yea, that was yesterday!

Jake and I went to his parent's house to take care of their cat. Let me start with a time stamp! We left our home around 5:00 yesterday to head over. They live about 5-10 minutes away. We stopped at the Blockbuster and Market Basket across the street from them to get two movies, some candy and drinks.

We get to the house and notice that Sam (the cat) has accidentally shut himself in their bedroom. He does that sometimes if he's playing with something and it goes behind a door. Jake says "shit, I wonder how long he's been in there without a litter box." And yea, our worst thoughts came true, Sam had peed on the bed. It wasn't his fault, truly. He had, however, given the courtesy of tossing the pillows off the bed before peeing in the spot where they normally would go. Lucky that, otherwise we would have some wet pillows to deal with as well.

So, we stripped the bed and started to wash it. We tossed the sheets and the light blanket in the washing machine and turned it on. It was making noise, but no water was filling it up. I quickly figured Jake's dad must have flipped the water switch, which he had. That was an easy fix.

So, we still had the issue of the pee all over the mattress. Luckily, we had some Miracle whatever at home. It's a solution that you pour on pee and it eats it up with enzymes etc. It works wonders! However, we weren't 100% sure how much we had left. So, at 5:55 on July 4, I called PetSmart down the street in hopes that they were open. They sure were! But only until 6:00! Ugh! So, I called Petco in south Nashua and they were open to 8. So, we had to go all the way down to South Nashua to buy the stuff.

We get back and treat the bed, put in the first movie, and order dinner. All goes well for a while, until Jake decides to clean the cat box. He brings it into the living room and takes the lid off. Sam saunters over, climbs in and proceeds to piss and shit in the un-covered cat box, right in front of us! Good times! Of course, now we have a small amount of litter on the floor since cats need to bury and kick up everything.

No sense in trying to clean a litter box with fresh pee in it. You make more of a mess! So, I put the lid on the box and decide to move it into the room it belongs in. I pick up the litter box and start walking. Apparently, the weight of the box was too much for the handle. You should have seen the look on our faces as the lid broke off and half the box spilled onto the oriental rug in the living room! Yea! AWESOME! So now we have a HUGE mess AND a broken little box! Excellent!

I went to get the vacuum as Jake got the broom. It took a while, but we swept and vacuumed up all the litter. Thank GOD the fresh pee didn't land on the rug! At this point, it's around 8, 8:30.

The bedding is still washing, so we put in the next movie. About 1.5 hours into the movie, at the climax, it decides to freeze and pixelate. Yea, awesome. Chuck up another perfect occurrence that night! Also, the comforter took 4 spins in the drier so we didn't end up leaving until after 11:30. Yea, it was a shitty night!

On the way home, I saw big fireworks in the sky. I said "gee that's strange. I though that Holman Stadium's fireworks would have been done by now. I wonder where they're coming from..." About 1 minute later, we drove by a bunch of assholes lighting off fireworks on the street. Big, huge fireworks. One went off as we drove by and the sparks hit the fucking truck! If that firework had just tipped over, it would have taken out the truck! I was SO FUCKING PISSED! I mean what the fuck. Who sets off huge fireworks on a busy public road in Nashua where the houses are all on top of each other? Sometimes I just want to kill people with their stupidity.

We got home. So, exhausted, we went to bed. We laid there for about 10 minutes when we heard that lovely sound of our cat heaving. Melissa decided that would be an excellent time to puke all over the little throw rug next to the bed on Jake's side! Yay! What a way to end a day!

Updates and such

So it's been a while since I've posted on here. I guess life just happens so fast! Let me give some recent updates:

I have officially resigned from the Manchvegas Roller Girls. There were a lot of reasons at play in that decision, one of the biggest being financial. When I joined a league in Manchester, I didn't think it would be a big deal. However, the gas prices have gone up SO drastically in such a small amount of time that I didn't get to a lot of events. The events were all in Manchester and Concord, which is even further north. There was also a lot of political issues and drama. I won't get into it all, especially where I know they don't want it all aired for the public to know. But, I truly treasure the time I had with the girls and hope that we can maintain our friendships moving forward.

On a similar note, I am going to look into joining Skate Free or Die. They are a league right here in Nashua. They practice in Nashua and Tyngsboro. I sent an email, but haven't yet heard back. They will start playing in August so I hope I can get in with them before then. I'm thinking maybe of going for announcer this time. But, I did really enjoy being a mascot. So, we'll see.

The crazy month of June is almost over. This month I had Colleen's wedding shower and bachelorette party, along with Heather and Evan's baby shower. All of which I had a large hand in planning. It was a good time at all events, and definitely worth the effort, but just a long month.

The baby shower was yesterday and went REALLY well, I thought. Though the guests were a bit early and the guests of honor a smidge late, we all hung out and had a good time. I love that my friends all pool together to make events happen for each other. There's never any question as to what needs to get done and that someone will pitch in and cover all the bases. I truly feel blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life! And, I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET BEAN!!! I am so full of anticipation for meeting baby Jacob! I know I'm going to sob like a little baby myself when I first hold him/her. :-)

Still no word on the teaching front. Evan said that I most likely won't hear much until August anyway. So, I'm not too nervous. I am nervous that I don't have actually classroom experience, except for teaching Hebrew. I think I'm going to look into Sylvan or something and see about tutoring part time. I could use both the experience and money. :-)

I think that's all she wrote for now.

Peace!