Happy Festivus!

The story of that first Festivus is a simple one. Many December 23rd's ago, a great man named Frank Costanza went to buy a doll for his son. He reached for the last one, but so did another man. As Frank rained blows upon him, he thought there had to be another way. The doll was destroyed, but out of that, a new holiday was born. It was called Festivus. No, not feminist, Festivus. A Festivus for the rest of us. Festivus, as Frank explained it, is a celebration like no other, composed of do-it-yourself ceremonies based on the principle that "father knows best".
On December 23rd, families and friends get together and gather around the traditional Festivus pole. No, it isn't a tree. It's a pole, no decorations. Tinsel, you see, is very distracting. Oh, and it must have a very high strength-to-weight ratio. The celebration then moves to the dinner table for the Airing of Grievances. This is when you share with families and friends all the ways they have disappointed us over the last year. That often lasts far into the night. Finally, there is the Feats of Strength, where the head of the household tests his or her strength with another family member or friend. Festivus is not over until the head of the family is pinned. You are allowed to decline only if you have something to do instead.