So today is the 27th anniversary of my father's death. 27 years, I can't believe it. It's amazing how something that happened so long ago can still have a stronghold on your life.
However, I have decided not to let it bother me this year. This year I am going to get through the whole day without crying. In fact, it didn't even dawn on me what day it was until I checked my email and saw the anniversary reminder from my mom (yea, way morbid mom). I just sat there looking at it, waiting for the tears to well. And they didn't!
I think that this year it's different because now I have so many positive things to focus on. For instance, Colleen's wedding is tomorrow. That's a huge positive spin on a bad day! And, Judi (Jake's mom) has be birthday today.
Having Jake in my life has also helped me deal with things I never thought I'd be able to deal with. I don't need to focus on so many fears because I know I have someone here to stand by me at all times. I can break free from the grips of harmful relationships because I have a steady support system at home. I can get through life without mourning everyone all of the time because I have someone to focus that energy on.
I am a really, really lucky person to have found him. I truly never thought I would meet the person who would complete my life. I used to cry....often, actually. I'd cry about being lonely, being poor, losing so many people to death... and now, well, I hardly cry at all!
1 comment:
Yay, for less crying! But seriously, that's a really positive thing, knowing that you have support around you and do not have to walk alone through life. I'm not just talking about life partners, but friends, family, the whole sha-bang.
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