Birthday Reflections

Let's see.... there are 365 days until I turn 30. Jesus....30. I never thought I'd see that day! It's amazing to think that I've lived for this long.

Remember when 10 years seem like such a long time? Like when we graduated from high school and the thought of a 10 year reunion was so far-fetched? (not that I'd ever go, and didn't). But still. Now 10 years seems like nothing. Let's see, where was I in life 10 years ago, August 17, 1998?

I had just spent a year (well, almost) at UMD. It was a very hard time for me, but I managed to find a group of incredibly amazing friends, most of whom I have to this day. I remember I had a birthday party that year. I was living back home in Chelms-hell with my parents. It was a weird party because my 20cent friends were there, along with Valerie (who didn't know any of them at the time), Leah, and Taryn! We managed to have a really good time. Vorg was there too. I remember he ended up staying over that night. He slept in the guest bedroom, but tried to sneak into mine early in the morning. Alli, our dog, had other plans! She woke up when he did and barked to get the rest of us up! LOL Poor boy. What am I talking about... poor me too! LOL
I was working at the Westford Regency, I believe. I had real short hair still, and fake nails. I was still really depressed, but was starting to work towards getting better. I did register for MCC that coming fall. That was my saving grace. It really was. It gave me a sense of purpose, and the self esteem to actually succeed academically for the first time in my life.

There's me, getting all sentimental! This year, on my birthday, I feel like I'm in another transition. I'm in a job that I am very unsatisfied with. I wanted to start teaching this year, but no one has even called me for an interview. I feel stuck. I'm not making enough money to pay the bills, I'm not at all intellectually challenged, and I don't get any respect.

But, I am getting married in 55 days! Yikes! I'm going to be a Mrs! I have decided to keep my name, but add Jake's at the end. Meaning, Sandra Marie Picard Stevens. I feel good about that. Now I don't have to give up the Picard, which I feel is a little piece of my birth father I've kept with me. And that's not a knock towards my life father. I love him, but he's able to be an active part of my life where my birth father can't. I hope I've honored my life father with all I've done (though I don't think he sees it that way).

Anyway, it's late and I'm jabbering. I'll probably edit this tomorrow!

Cheers and thanks for all the birthday wishes everyone!